Today started out kinda rough. I hit a few hiccups and wasn't feeling very happy about myself, or things in general. I even broke down a bit on the phone with a good friend of mine(full knowing there really was nothing to be so upset about). It was she who offered up the above question. I quickly agreed that it was a mix of both. But, after reflecting on her question the rest of the day, I am in full belief that we make life hard on ourselves.
We all see the shining examples of those that have major ailments or handicaps and still seem to embrace each moment, good or bad. We all are in awe of their strength and want that for ourselves. The reality is, we already have it. We're just choosing not to embrace our own moments. Each moment is a test, a lesson, another step in our journey. Weather we want it or not, it's ours. Each moment defines us. It's as easy as flipping that switch in our head to hopeful from hopeless.
So what in the world is wrong with me!?! I am ashamed that it has been so hard for me to flip that switch and instead I've chosen to wallow in self pity. Granted, I have good moments as well as bad. Lately the bad have clearly been winning out though. This simple question was really the kick in the pants I needed. For the first time in a long time I felt like I enjoyed my day(what was left of it at least). I was present with my girls instead of consumed with less important things. I took time appreciate my life. Why can't I do this everyday? I can. I must do it for my own sanity and that of my family. I'm tired of feeling like everyday is a race to get things accomplished. By the time the kids are in bed I feel like I didn't get anything done anyway.
My goal is to be present everyday. To be living my life instead of watching as each day slips by in chaos. I have the strength to embrace each moment as it comes, and to be happy knowing it is making me into me. Most of all, I can't afford to set a bad example to the two girls I hope to mold into some of the strongest women this world has ever seen. We are reflected in the attitudes and actions of those around us. Not only do I not want to be surrounded by grumpy people, I want to know that my impact on this world, however small, is a positive one.
This is why we surround ourselves with great friends. :)
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4 comments:
Wow, we are alike in so many ways. It's amazing how you feel like you are the only person feeling a certain way...the reality is you may not be as alone as you think. Everyone has trials, tribulations and hardship. It's how we deal with all of this that truly defines us as individuals. Do we really need the weight of the world or what we think is vital weighing us down? I think we are both learning that some things (most of them really) aren't worth it. You're so sweet....if you ever need anything or even someone just to talk to, please don't ever hesitate to get a hold of me. I may not have the answers, but I can sure be there to listen. Glad to see you're back! :)
It is easy to think about what isn't done, what you don't have, what you still want and not take the time to sit down, take a deep breath and be thankful for what you do have.
I do it on a daily basis! I am glad that we have food to eat, a roof (although sometimes leaky!) over our heads, cars that run and healthy kids.
It helps at the end of the day too to write down just three things you were grateful for that day and look at that list after a month - you'll feel blessed!
Thanks for the uplifting comments. And Jen, right back at ya. I've always got open ears if every you should need them.
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